this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
