Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
