MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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