I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
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