Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize