I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So many bounce houses so little time
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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