woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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