Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
