Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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