I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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