Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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