really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
