His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
