you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
