k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
