I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my shit smells like andre
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
