i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
