my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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