Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
