Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
