i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
