this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My feet surprised me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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