I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
