I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
