if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize