thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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