I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
