Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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