Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
