There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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