You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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