It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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