I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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