I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
