haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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