Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
