New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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