And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
