how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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