Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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