Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
PANTIES FOUND
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