He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
