we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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