matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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