the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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