Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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