so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
