who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She announced her abortion via fbk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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