Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
