He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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