I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
