I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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