My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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