First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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