she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
