Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
