Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do vagina's smell?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
