Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
